Saturday, February 9, 2013

Krazy Kat Lady Monologues - Part 1

So, anyone who knows me, knows that since September of last year, I have been the proud owner of four - yes, four - cats.  For most of my adult life, I've owned at least two cats.  One solitary cat always just seemed so wrong.... somehow......   But never, ever have I had more than three of these seemingly undemanding beasts.  Since September, there have been quite a few "crazy cat lady" references zinged in my direction.  In the minds of the free world of non-cat loving people, it appears that three cats per household is the limit.  Well fine then, in that case, I have decided to embrace my new insane persona.  Without further ado, allow me to introduce my brood:

Pumpkin.  Our 15 year-old female.  For the record, we took her in when my Aunt couldn't keep her, and we inherited the name.  I would not dream of naming an orange cat "Pumpkin"..... for the love of God.....  hence, she now answers to a boat-load of nicknames further demonstrating the superior capacity of the female brain - even in cats.  She feels that she should be the lone cat in the household and is never shy about verbalizing this to the other cats.  Favorite pastimes include vigorously cleaning the white parts of her coat, drinking out of the toilet, and flirting with my husband.  Oh yes. When we took her, we were warned that she "doesn't like men".  All evidence to the contrary nowadays... the little slut.

Kramer.  I should really talk about Kramer and Jerry together, but I wouldn't want to do either of them any injustices by lumping them together.  We adopted Kramer from the SPCA almost five years ago as an eight week old kitten.  Two weeks after his adoption, he was diagnosed with the infamous "Upper Respiratory Infection" brought home courtesy of his litter mates and spread to our other cats in no time flat.  He was pretty sickly during his first month with us, but you'd never know it now.  We don't know what breed he is.  He appears to be a tabby/oriental mix with his single-layer coat and long legs that bear a strong resemblance to the legs on a colt.  And yes, he gallops when he runs (which is often, by the way).  When he was a kitten, his spots were chocolate brown, and they darkened to grey-black by the time he was two.  Favorite pastimes:  taunting any cat in the house other than Jerry, roughhousing with Jerry, and trying to stay warm in the cold months (notice him in this picture warming his feet under the radiator).

Jerry.  My very first black cat.   I honestly knew nothing about black cat superstitions at the time.  We adopted him with Kramer because they were inseparable in the kitten room at the SPCA.  The two of them were just irresistible   When Jerry was a kitten, he never walked.  He strutted.  All over the place, like he owned the joint.  By now you know( if you've ever watched 'Seinfeld'), that his and Kramer's names are self-explanatory.  He is possibly the sweetest, most affectionate cat I have ever owned.  He is also a thief.   Of food.  He has always enjoyed making off with some culinary delight in his mouth.  As a kitten, it was not unusual for him to steal pieces of food that were bigger than him - slices of pizza, or an entire bag of chips, for example.  Disciplinary actions have proven futile.  Whoa be it to the person who leaves a bag of snacks out unguarded.   Unless, of course, you enjoy finding and cleaning up an empty, shredded bag and crumbs spread hither and yon.    A cute, lovable scamp..... mm hmmm, that's what I'm calling him.

Josie.  The newest addition to our household who has apparently tipped me over the edge into crazy cat-lady land.   We inherited her from my Mom, with a warning (why do cats coming from relatives always come with a warning?  Seems like a "CYA" tactic if you ask me).   "She's not an affectionate lap cat", I was told.   Oh really?  I guess my lap has some sort of magnetic cat appeal that even the most resistant cat cannot resist.  She's on my lap.  She tries to crawl up me and lay on my chest.  The best part is when she starts licking me - my hands, arms, legs, face, neck, hairline, etc, etc.....    Other than that, she is certainly taking her own sweet time adjusting to our household.  It was a challenge for us to make sure that she was actually engaging in  normal activities necessary for survival.  But finally after six months, she is settling in.... sort of.   You my have heard the great cry of joy came from Pumpkin when Josie arrived, since Kramer turned his considerable attentions toward the new kid on the block.    This one is (at least temporarily) classified as an affectionate challenge.

So, those are my cats.  A ragtag bunch, but they're mine and I love all of them.  I sometimes look at pictures of those fancy pedigreed cats and dream of owning one, but really, would they be any different than my guys?  Are there any two cats in the universe who are the same in personality?  That's what makes them the amazing and fascinating creatures that they are.  But four is my limit.   That's my story and I'm sticking to it.... for now.

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