Bill and I, particularly me, seem to be drawn to folks a bit older than ourselves when it comes to potential friends. I don't quite know why..... sometimes it doesn't take off, most times it works out quite well. Here's an example of what happens when we try to befriend people our own age (something that we, apparently, need to stop doing)....
Enter Darren and Miranda. Darren - pleasant, likable, drywall specialist. He has done drywall jobs for us many times in exchange for Bill's tax services. Miranda - fascinating, Canadian-Italian, animal lover, with a very European outlook on life that I find appealing. We have visited their home in Wilson during tax season the past 2 years. They introduced me to my current, very successful vitamin regimen and the vitamin powder that I give to the cats- equally successful They are sort of entrepreneurial. Sounds like an interesting couple, yes?
Fast forward to this week. Some drywall patchwork needs to be done in my in-laws house. Darren and Miranda want to register an LLC with New York State. We agree to meet at my in-laws house, set up the LLC, check out the area of the dining room ceiling that needs work, and then go to dinner. Cool ......
Imagine my dismay when they pull into the driveway (30 minutes late) and proceed to unload all of his drywalling equipment - she is dressed in old jeans and a sweatshirt, he in jeans and flannel. Hmmmm... My first clue that something was amiss should have been when I greeted her in the kitchen and she said, in a puzzled voice "Do you live here?" Clearly she had not expected to see me. I watch the scene unfold in front of me...... Darren immediately goes to work on the ceiling ..... with the idea that Bill will set up their LLC on his laptop in the dining room..... the conversation is interesting enough - they want to buy a mobile home park.....(?) Things take a turn for the worse when Bill starts talking about restaurants in the area and Miranda announces that "We never eat in restaurants. I cook." At this point, the drywall job was done, the LLC was registered, and they packed up and left. Huh?? Well, I'm the dummy, because now I remember that the last time we went to their house (did I mention they live in Wilson?), Bill and Darren finished their business at roughly 5:00PM that day with nary a dinner invitation in sight. We left..... hungry...... in Wilson. Thank God for the Wilson Boat House.
So, back to this afternoon: after Darren and Miranda left, I looked at Bill and said "I don't see how we can possibly be friends with people who don't eat in restaurants!" Bill's response: "They want to buy a mobile home park.....?" He swears he told them that we would "grab something to eat afterward" I believe him..... and that's exactly what he and I did.....still shaking our heads half an hour later.
Say what you want about generational differences or the lack thereof..... a lot of the people my age are just plain weird.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
The Time Turner
In the third volume of the Harry Potter series, Hermoine Granger is given a device called a "Time Turner". Spinning this device will enable the user to travel backward in time, and she uses it effectively to take classes that are only offered at the same time. Ultimately, she uses it to change the course of events and prevent several injustices from occurring.
I wonder what my life would be like if I owned one of these devices. I'm imagining that, for someone such as myself, it could help to prevent a great deal of heartache - not the least of which has been suffered over the years by my friends and family due to my incomprehensible impulsiveness and lack of good judgement. At what age will I ever finally develop the wisdom to know what it means to stifle myself. Even now, I can sit here and make 100 excuses for my behavior, but none of them will erase my actions.
Sometimes, I can actually step outside myself and watch, as I become more like my mother every day. My mother, a woman who can say the most hurtful and judgement things without so much as the blink of an eye or the slightest bit of remorse - this will be me some day, and I feel as though I am powerless to stop this train wreck.
All this time, I have encouraged her to get out and be more social, and I think I finally understand why she has resisted and become such a recluse. A recluse can only hurt the people who are forced to share life with her. A recluse does not actively seek out innocent human beings to hurt with her angry words. And there is an element of self-preservation in reclusiveness. After all, the recluse stands a much smaller chance of hurting a person who has not only sought out her company but has become one of the most important people in her life. The recluse does not have to feel that pain, guilt and shame. Finally, for the first time in 48 years, I am beginning to understand my mother. I should probably compare notes with her before she becomes too senile to remember. I wonder how many friends she has driven away with her angry words that sprang directly out of her ego. I wonder whose list is longer.
God, please help me. There are only two choices for me. I must either conquer these demons once and for all, or become my mother..... because the world does not need any more people like she and I functioning as active participants. And please help those who I've hurt to know that I seem to only be capable of doing this to those I care the most about........ nothing, absolutely nothing that I say to them in anger should be taken as any sort of directive or litmus test of them. To those who have given up on me over the years - I don't blame you one bit. I can only wish that you have the occasion once in a while to remember a good time or two that we shared.
The time turner...... if only there were such a device...
I wonder what my life would be like if I owned one of these devices. I'm imagining that, for someone such as myself, it could help to prevent a great deal of heartache - not the least of which has been suffered over the years by my friends and family due to my incomprehensible impulsiveness and lack of good judgement. At what age will I ever finally develop the wisdom to know what it means to stifle myself. Even now, I can sit here and make 100 excuses for my behavior, but none of them will erase my actions.
Sometimes, I can actually step outside myself and watch, as I become more like my mother every day. My mother, a woman who can say the most hurtful and judgement things without so much as the blink of an eye or the slightest bit of remorse - this will be me some day, and I feel as though I am powerless to stop this train wreck.
All this time, I have encouraged her to get out and be more social, and I think I finally understand why she has resisted and become such a recluse. A recluse can only hurt the people who are forced to share life with her. A recluse does not actively seek out innocent human beings to hurt with her angry words. And there is an element of self-preservation in reclusiveness. After all, the recluse stands a much smaller chance of hurting a person who has not only sought out her company but has become one of the most important people in her life. The recluse does not have to feel that pain, guilt and shame. Finally, for the first time in 48 years, I am beginning to understand my mother. I should probably compare notes with her before she becomes too senile to remember. I wonder how many friends she has driven away with her angry words that sprang directly out of her ego. I wonder whose list is longer.
God, please help me. There are only two choices for me. I must either conquer these demons once and for all, or become my mother..... because the world does not need any more people like she and I functioning as active participants. And please help those who I've hurt to know that I seem to only be capable of doing this to those I care the most about........ nothing, absolutely nothing that I say to them in anger should be taken as any sort of directive or litmus test of them. To those who have given up on me over the years - I don't blame you one bit. I can only wish that you have the occasion once in a while to remember a good time or two that we shared.
The time turner...... if only there were such a device...
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Reach Out And........... Text Someone? Email Someone?
I get all nostalgic about the old AT&T (or was it Bell Telephone?) commercial encouraging us to "reach out and touch someone" with a phone call. I can't help but think that Alexander Graham Bell is rolling over in his grave these days. With the rise in popularity of texting and e-mails and smartphones, there is an alarming decline in interpersonal communication skills.
I could cop out and point a finger at my daughter's generation, but you know what? They never had the skills to begin with - this environment is all that most of them have ever known. I put the responsibility for this decline squarely on the shoulders of anyone age 40 or older. We know better. We know what it means to actually hear the person's voice on the other end of the line. We know the value of being able to ascertain the emotions coming from that person. How many times do we have to have an e-mail or text message misinterpreted before we just cave in and dial the phone number and open our mouths. Sure, we might not say something exactly right, but at least we would have the opportunity to elaborate.
It's a vicious cycle. We all get into the habit of texting and emailing. We come to the point where we'd like to get something resolved quickly, but we don't want to "bother" the person by calling him or her. So we send an e-mail and wait impatiently, fuming when the person doesn't respond. Then we send the person a text. Why didn't the person respond to the text?, we ask ourselves. Maybe the topic is uncomfortable for the person and he or she is struggling to respond, or who knows, maybe our smartphones are not as smart as we think they are. Ultimately, I've observed this pattern and. more importantly, I've been guilty of doing it - frequently. I often waste hours doing nothing but deliberating in my mind about whether or not to just bite the bullet and make the call. My favorite stupid action that I like to employ - sending the person a text message asking "can I call you?". Hilarious when you stop and think about it.
The irony of this "evolution" is that in the old days, you would call someone, and if they didn't answer, you just hung up and tried again later. Then came answering machines, and this would seem to be the best of both worlds. At least you were getting through to the other person somehow. Either way, there was no instant communication, and we were all ok with that, because that's just the way it was.
Go ahead..... reach out and touch someone. It won't kill you, I promise.
I could cop out and point a finger at my daughter's generation, but you know what? They never had the skills to begin with - this environment is all that most of them have ever known. I put the responsibility for this decline squarely on the shoulders of anyone age 40 or older. We know better. We know what it means to actually hear the person's voice on the other end of the line. We know the value of being able to ascertain the emotions coming from that person. How many times do we have to have an e-mail or text message misinterpreted before we just cave in and dial the phone number and open our mouths. Sure, we might not say something exactly right, but at least we would have the opportunity to elaborate.
It's a vicious cycle. We all get into the habit of texting and emailing. We come to the point where we'd like to get something resolved quickly, but we don't want to "bother" the person by calling him or her. So we send an e-mail and wait impatiently, fuming when the person doesn't respond. Then we send the person a text. Why didn't the person respond to the text?, we ask ourselves. Maybe the topic is uncomfortable for the person and he or she is struggling to respond, or who knows, maybe our smartphones are not as smart as we think they are. Ultimately, I've observed this pattern and. more importantly, I've been guilty of doing it - frequently. I often waste hours doing nothing but deliberating in my mind about whether or not to just bite the bullet and make the call. My favorite stupid action that I like to employ - sending the person a text message asking "can I call you?". Hilarious when you stop and think about it.
The irony of this "evolution" is that in the old days, you would call someone, and if they didn't answer, you just hung up and tried again later. Then came answering machines, and this would seem to be the best of both worlds. At least you were getting through to the other person somehow. Either way, there was no instant communication, and we were all ok with that, because that's just the way it was.
Go ahead..... reach out and touch someone. It won't kill you, I promise.
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Another Goodbye
This will be brief. Bill and Mandy left for Providence two hours ago. I didn't cry this time...yet. I have the excitement of her next visit with Danny to look forward to, and I have to focus on that.
I can't focus on the Christmas tree where some of her gifts remain to be put away, or the perpetually puzzled look on Jerry's face for the first few days after she's gone. His little feline brain can't comprehend her comings and goings. I'm not so sure I'm that far behind him.
Sometime when I wasn't looking, my daughter became an adult. Now it is up to me to act like one, I guess. Still, there are some things that will never be the same for me since Mandy left. I still have not been able to go to the Mall without her. The Mall was our place since she was old enough to walk. We spend countless hours window shopping, trying things on, eating. Sometimes we bought things, sometimes not. It didn't matter because it was our time together. So now I am the Queen of Internet shopping. It's must riskier to buy something that you aren't really laying your eyes on, but it's a risk I was willing to take. I couldn't face the stores.
Well, I guess this is my new reality. A year and a half in, I feel only slightly better to handle it than I was when it all started. Time just goes by too fast. I wish I could close my eyes and reverse the Earth's rotation. But then again, who's to say that anything would have happened any differently? The beauty is in the moment.... and that's where I have to live.
I can't focus on the Christmas tree where some of her gifts remain to be put away, or the perpetually puzzled look on Jerry's face for the first few days after she's gone. His little feline brain can't comprehend her comings and goings. I'm not so sure I'm that far behind him.
Sometime when I wasn't looking, my daughter became an adult. Now it is up to me to act like one, I guess. Still, there are some things that will never be the same for me since Mandy left. I still have not been able to go to the Mall without her. The Mall was our place since she was old enough to walk. We spend countless hours window shopping, trying things on, eating. Sometimes we bought things, sometimes not. It didn't matter because it was our time together. So now I am the Queen of Internet shopping. It's must riskier to buy something that you aren't really laying your eyes on, but it's a risk I was willing to take. I couldn't face the stores.
Well, I guess this is my new reality. A year and a half in, I feel only slightly better to handle it than I was when it all started. Time just goes by too fast. I wish I could close my eyes and reverse the Earth's rotation. But then again, who's to say that anything would have happened any differently? The beauty is in the moment.... and that's where I have to live.
Monday, December 17, 2012
Finding Little Blessings that are really BIG Blessings
Dear World,
Yes, I am blogging at work (shhhhh....), but sometimes when the mood strikes, I can't concentrate on anything else.
I have not found much to be happy about this holiday season, as you already know if you've read my previous posts. An update on my brother and his wanderlust: he called me yesterday morning to inform me that he and his wife were forced to come back to town by December 30th because she has to work on the 31st. So I suppose I should be happy that she is one of the minority that will be working that day - otherwise, we would have been blown off for the entire holidays. And it gets better. Our marching orders are that as soon as they hit the Tonawanda city line, we are to congregate at "The Home" for a "Quick and Dirty" present exchange (his exact words). No dinner, no drinks, no living room pleasantries. As we are gathering in the living quarters of an Assisted Living Facility, I suppose some of us will be sitting on the floor. How incredibly festive.........
I am trying so hard not to let this be the last straw, so I have decided to engage in the time-honored tradition of counting my blessings. Here goes:
(1) I am married to a man who, even though he can be quite unevenly-tempered and can be a bit of a control freak at times, loves me unconditionally and makes me laugh harder and more often than anyone else in the world. He will bend over backwards for people who he doesn't even know that well, and he will walk through fire for people he knows. Our relationship has matured into one that places less and less value on material things and more emphasis on identifying the things that are really important and pursuing them. We will never be the picket fence grandparents. I like to think of us as following in the footsteps of Auntie Mame.
(2) I have a daughter who continues to amaze me and to exceed any expectation that I ever had for her. I was so afraid to let go of her last year because I was afraid that if she failed so far away from home, she might not recover. Not only has she not failed, she has blossomed into the most incredible and crazy-successful person. Sometimes I have to pinch myself because I can't believe she's mine. She is my daughter and my friend. (Yes, I think she is old enough for me to be able to say that!)
(3) I have an appreciation for all of the living creatures on Earth. I am the self-named "Crazy Cat Lady", and I love being this person. I think that cats are intelligent, individual personalities who are extremely loving and loyal to people who return that favor. I also find most cats to be breathtakingly beautiful, and I feel blessed that I can appreciate them and enjoy their presence in my life.
(4) Musical talent. I can't imagine what state of mind I would be in right now without music in my life. It permeates everything I do, every day. Even now, music plays in the background as I type. I also feel blessed that I am able to appreciate many different genres of music. I remember the debut of the Barry Manilow recording of "I Write The Songs" and how I felt incredibly superior even at the age of 11 or 12 because I was one of the few people I knew who really understood what that song actually meant.
(4) I have an occupation that allows me to pursue my passions. It, in and of itself, is not one of my passions, but that's ok. I have come to accept that I will never earn a living wage doing what I love to do. But I will die with a smile on my face.
(5) I've reconnected with my sister.... on Facebook.....after she moved to Kentucky without even saying goodbye to me. We've had more meaningful exchanges in the past 3 weeks than we did for ten years prior. Just one reason why I will always defend Facebook.
(6) I have a best friend who has been the miracle in my life. She sees things in me that nobody else does and she is not afraid to point them out to me..... again......and again...... and again, until I am able to accept them in myself. Meeting her was the turning point that meant the difference between a very sad and mediocre existence and a life that now seems very full of promise. She has captured the heart of my daughter and the respect of my husband. Most recently, my daughter said to me - "I love Gail because she has helped you to believe in yourself so that you can do the things that you've always wanted to do, and I can see how happy you are now." I think that quote says it all. I can only hope that I am, in some small way, returning the favor.
So, I guess what it all boils down to is that we must continually strive to value the good things that are right in front of our faces and endeavor to let go of that which would never really be ours without a lot of struggle. Not that there aren't things out there that are worth struggling for. I'm just not sure anymore that "family unity" is a realistic goal for me. There are so many qualities of the show "Sex and the City" that I love, but this is probably my favorite quote because it sums up everything that the show was about:
"The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don't, but in the end they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself."
Ciao!
Crazy Cat Lady
Yes, I am blogging at work (shhhhh....), but sometimes when the mood strikes, I can't concentrate on anything else.
I have not found much to be happy about this holiday season, as you already know if you've read my previous posts. An update on my brother and his wanderlust: he called me yesterday morning to inform me that he and his wife were forced to come back to town by December 30th because she has to work on the 31st. So I suppose I should be happy that she is one of the minority that will be working that day - otherwise, we would have been blown off for the entire holidays. And it gets better. Our marching orders are that as soon as they hit the Tonawanda city line, we are to congregate at "The Home" for a "Quick and Dirty" present exchange (his exact words). No dinner, no drinks, no living room pleasantries. As we are gathering in the living quarters of an Assisted Living Facility, I suppose some of us will be sitting on the floor. How incredibly festive.........
I am trying so hard not to let this be the last straw, so I have decided to engage in the time-honored tradition of counting my blessings. Here goes:
(1) I am married to a man who, even though he can be quite unevenly-tempered and can be a bit of a control freak at times, loves me unconditionally and makes me laugh harder and more often than anyone else in the world. He will bend over backwards for people who he doesn't even know that well, and he will walk through fire for people he knows. Our relationship has matured into one that places less and less value on material things and more emphasis on identifying the things that are really important and pursuing them. We will never be the picket fence grandparents. I like to think of us as following in the footsteps of Auntie Mame.
(2) I have a daughter who continues to amaze me and to exceed any expectation that I ever had for her. I was so afraid to let go of her last year because I was afraid that if she failed so far away from home, she might not recover. Not only has she not failed, she has blossomed into the most incredible and crazy-successful person. Sometimes I have to pinch myself because I can't believe she's mine. She is my daughter and my friend. (Yes, I think she is old enough for me to be able to say that!)
(3) I have an appreciation for all of the living creatures on Earth. I am the self-named "Crazy Cat Lady", and I love being this person. I think that cats are intelligent, individual personalities who are extremely loving and loyal to people who return that favor. I also find most cats to be breathtakingly beautiful, and I feel blessed that I can appreciate them and enjoy their presence in my life.
(4) Musical talent. I can't imagine what state of mind I would be in right now without music in my life. It permeates everything I do, every day. Even now, music plays in the background as I type. I also feel blessed that I am able to appreciate many different genres of music. I remember the debut of the Barry Manilow recording of "I Write The Songs" and how I felt incredibly superior even at the age of 11 or 12 because I was one of the few people I knew who really understood what that song actually meant.
(4) I have an occupation that allows me to pursue my passions. It, in and of itself, is not one of my passions, but that's ok. I have come to accept that I will never earn a living wage doing what I love to do. But I will die with a smile on my face.
(5) I've reconnected with my sister.... on Facebook.....after she moved to Kentucky without even saying goodbye to me. We've had more meaningful exchanges in the past 3 weeks than we did for ten years prior. Just one reason why I will always defend Facebook.
(6) I have a best friend who has been the miracle in my life. She sees things in me that nobody else does and she is not afraid to point them out to me..... again......and again...... and again, until I am able to accept them in myself. Meeting her was the turning point that meant the difference between a very sad and mediocre existence and a life that now seems very full of promise. She has captured the heart of my daughter and the respect of my husband. Most recently, my daughter said to me - "I love Gail because she has helped you to believe in yourself so that you can do the things that you've always wanted to do, and I can see how happy you are now." I think that quote says it all. I can only hope that I am, in some small way, returning the favor.
So, I guess what it all boils down to is that we must continually strive to value the good things that are right in front of our faces and endeavor to let go of that which would never really be ours without a lot of struggle. Not that there aren't things out there that are worth struggling for. I'm just not sure anymore that "family unity" is a realistic goal for me. There are so many qualities of the show "Sex and the City" that I love, but this is probably my favorite quote because it sums up everything that the show was about:
"The most important thing in life is your family. There are days you love them, and others you don't, but in the end they're the people you always come home to. Sometimes it's the family you're born into and sometimes it's the one you make for yourself."
Ciao!
Crazy Cat Lady
Thursday, December 13, 2012
A "Cheery" Update
So..... since my previous holiday rant, some extra-cheery updates have developed.
In the years since my brother has decided to go South for Christmas every year, he has managed to arrive back in town around the 27th or 28th of December, and we have usually gotten together for dinner somewhere between then and New Years. This year he has decided that they will stop in Virginia on the way home at some scenic locale to take pictures. This announcement prompted Bill, the ever-helpful boy scout, to give him pointers on VMI and the location of the graves of some famous Confederate generals, etc, etc..... (Thanks, Bill...). I can only guess that this may put the kibosh on the get-together, as who knows now when they will get back to town. He compares his current obsession with photography to my obsession with BCAS. He has a point, but I must admit that in this instance, I'm having difficulty validating the comparison.
Newsflash #2 - Bill's sister has decided to return to working as a visiting nurse in order to pay the bills until she can find a job in her true vocation - geographic systems/ something or other ( for example, she interviewed in Binghamton for a job with National Grid where she would be evaluating forestation growth around power lines....... or something like that.... and receiving a larger starting salary than the current salaries of either Bill or myself. But I digress...). Anyway, she is working as a visiting nurse on Christmas. She's crazy, but I'd still like her around on Christmas. Not only is her pumpkin roll to die for, but most importantly this means no Nieces on Christmas either. <SIGH.....>
I don't know when to break these news bites to Mandy, but I think it should wait until she's home or on her way home from school. No point in depressing her while she's still there. I hope her best friend comes up earlier this year from NC so that they can spend more than one day together.
I am trying very hard to turn myself around so that I can start thinking up some different approaches for next year, but it's difficult to drum up enthusiasm when I see no conceivable way that things will improve. My brother takes any opportunity that he can to pull away from us, and now that my Mom is in Assisted Living, he can do it guilt-free. Mandy is never going to live in Buffalo again, and it doesn't look like I'll be going to her. I must be the only person I know of who actually looks forward to January in Buffalo!
Have I mentioned that the Holidays really suck .............?
In the years since my brother has decided to go South for Christmas every year, he has managed to arrive back in town around the 27th or 28th of December, and we have usually gotten together for dinner somewhere between then and New Years. This year he has decided that they will stop in Virginia on the way home at some scenic locale to take pictures. This announcement prompted Bill, the ever-helpful boy scout, to give him pointers on VMI and the location of the graves of some famous Confederate generals, etc, etc..... (Thanks, Bill...). I can only guess that this may put the kibosh on the get-together, as who knows now when they will get back to town. He compares his current obsession with photography to my obsession with BCAS. He has a point, but I must admit that in this instance, I'm having difficulty validating the comparison.
Newsflash #2 - Bill's sister has decided to return to working as a visiting nurse in order to pay the bills until she can find a job in her true vocation - geographic systems/ something or other ( for example, she interviewed in Binghamton for a job with National Grid where she would be evaluating forestation growth around power lines....... or something like that.... and receiving a larger starting salary than the current salaries of either Bill or myself. But I digress...). Anyway, she is working as a visiting nurse on Christmas. She's crazy, but I'd still like her around on Christmas. Not only is her pumpkin roll to die for, but most importantly this means no Nieces on Christmas either. <SIGH.....>
I don't know when to break these news bites to Mandy, but I think it should wait until she's home or on her way home from school. No point in depressing her while she's still there. I hope her best friend comes up earlier this year from NC so that they can spend more than one day together.
I am trying very hard to turn myself around so that I can start thinking up some different approaches for next year, but it's difficult to drum up enthusiasm when I see no conceivable way that things will improve. My brother takes any opportunity that he can to pull away from us, and now that my Mom is in Assisted Living, he can do it guilt-free. Mandy is never going to live in Buffalo again, and it doesn't look like I'll be going to her. I must be the only person I know of who actually looks forward to January in Buffalo!
Have I mentioned that the Holidays really suck .............?
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Concert Prep
I am officially almost 24 hours from the end of the first of two BCAS 2012 Christmas concerts. Hmmm... we often read about the superstitions and rituals of athletes. What about musicians.....
Right about now, I am ready to head to bed to attempt a cool 8 hours of zzzz ...... this is something that rarely happens on any other night. Tomorrow, I am working and hydrating at the same - which means that the ladies' restroom will see more of me than my desk will. I will attempt to duck out a couple of hours early because Bill and I must drive from one end of Erie County to the other... again..... albeit hopefully in better weather.
Earlier tonight, I performed the ritual drug store visit. Some sort of black tights or pantyhose made of super-duper, fat-sucking-in material: check! New cheapo pearl studs to replace the cheapo ones that one 19-year old wore and lost: check! Some new piece of cheapo makeup (not too much glitter, now) to make me feel gorgeous <cough>: check!
Tomorrow when I get home from work I will continue to drink enough water to drown a camel but will eat ever so lightly - just enough to ensure that I don't pass out on the altar, no more than that so as not to compromise my feeble diaphragm and to ensure adequate space in my stomach in order to pig out after the concert. Last but not least - I must remember to put in my contacts, because those reading glasses just do NOT cut it for me on any stage!
So I say to the ritualistic athletes - eat my dust!
Right about now, I am ready to head to bed to attempt a cool 8 hours of zzzz ...... this is something that rarely happens on any other night. Tomorrow, I am working and hydrating at the same - which means that the ladies' restroom will see more of me than my desk will. I will attempt to duck out a couple of hours early because Bill and I must drive from one end of Erie County to the other... again..... albeit hopefully in better weather.
Earlier tonight, I performed the ritual drug store visit. Some sort of black tights or pantyhose made of super-duper, fat-sucking-in material: check! New cheapo pearl studs to replace the cheapo ones that one 19-year old wore and lost: check! Some new piece of cheapo makeup (not too much glitter, now) to make me feel gorgeous <cough>: check!
Tomorrow when I get home from work I will continue to drink enough water to drown a camel but will eat ever so lightly - just enough to ensure that I don't pass out on the altar, no more than that so as not to compromise my feeble diaphragm and to ensure adequate space in my stomach in order to pig out after the concert. Last but not least - I must remember to put in my contacts, because those reading glasses just do NOT cut it for me on any stage!
So I say to the ritualistic athletes - eat my dust!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)